Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 18 trips to carry that many people.

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     What a cold Christmas. I’m still wide awake. It’s 5 o’clock in the morning, for crying out loud. I already feel, though, how weak my eyes are. They are so tired. I know they’ve been so tired.

      May the beauty of this song send me to sleep. I’m so tired.

     I never wanted to be alone. I thought being alone was always equivalent to being lonely, and I never wanted to be lonely. Who does anyway? Tonight, however, I want to taste how delicious solitude is. I want it to suffocate me. I want it to consume me.

      Tonight, I just want to be alone. Tonight, I just want to be lonely.

      This month, I celebrate my 7 years of lacto-ovo vegetarianism. <3

      With so many trees in the city, you could see the spring coming each day until a night of warm wind would bring it suddenly in one morning. Sometimes the heavy cold rains would beat it back so that it would seem that it would never come and that you were losing a season out of your life. This was the only truly sad time in Paris because it was unnatural. You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason.

      In those days, though, the spring always came finally; but it was frightening that it had nearly failed.

Paris, France

     Angels must have spilled large cups of black pepper tea onto the skies on that Sabbath afternoon in 2006. I saw darkness. The weather was too scary. A series of thunderclaps shook the earth to its core, and heavy rains bewailed like mad. That day was the first time I met Jim, though. What are the odds? He looked naïve yet overly serious and snobby. The good thing, however, is that he approached me and my older sister, and introduced himself and his churchmates. The bad thing (or I should say the funny thing) is that I thought he was gay. Now, I usually let out a huge guffaw whenever I remember that. Crazy.

      Jim is the guy you definitely cannot sum up in a matter of days. He has told me, “you don’t know me” over and over in the past, like he was chiseling each word into my brain. It pained a bit, yes, but he was right after all. He has also brushed me away several times before, but the only thing I could do was to stay and let out a sound halfway between a sigh and actual words. Understanding him could be a backbreaking work for some people, but I’d say it’s as though you’re picnicking under a silvery moon at dawn while thousand-toothed insects are gnawing on your legs: it’s sucky and shitty, but there’s this beauty in it you just can’t let go.

      My friendship with Jim is one of my most favourites. It amazes me how I put so much value on something which doesn’t even beg for it in the first place. A satisfied smile playing around the edges of his mouth can actually make my day. His sadness, on the other hand, is a hard lump of air in my chest just as his frustration a raincloud whole I’ve swallowed. My care for him is unsolicited and unexplainable, and I doubt if there’s anyone who wouldn’t be weirded out by this. He must be my long-lost brother in a past life.

      Jim was my seatmate on my very first airplane ride back to Manila. Here’s one of our conversations while we were about to land at NAIA from our Cebu-Bohol summer vacation last March of this year.

Kym: Hala.
Jim: Ang bilis naman.
Kym: Sayang hindi natin nakuhanan ng medyo mataas pa. Ikaw kasi eh.
Jim: Ayan na, pababa na.
Kym: Oo nga, ang corny.
Jim: (laughs)

Kym: Kung milyonaryo lang ako, pag-aaralin kita eh.

      I find this funny and yes, flaky.

A poem I’ve written while sitting in an imperfectly encapsulated morsel of a sad but good past.

04 January 2011
2:52 AM

      Envy. It’s consuming me like a fire that burned many a thousand martyrs. It’s all over me, charring my very soul. I hate what I feel, yet I can’t resist myself to wallow in such feelings. If God is trying to educate me, why, it is taking far too long now for me to bear! I am no Moses who can wait 40 years before training is over.

      Thank you for every little thing that you do for us.

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is doing awesome!.

Crunchy numbers

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has 296 steps to reach the top. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2010. If those were steps, it would have climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa 4 times

In 2010, there were 5 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 19 posts. There were 19 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 7mb. That’s about 2 pictures per month.

The busiest day of the year was July 7th with 52 views. The most popular post that day was third.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, twitter.com, mail.yahoo.com, google.com.ph, and alphainventions.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for solitude, solitude art, cat giving birth, atty. adonis gabriel, and richard gordon for president.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

third July 2010

learning, unlearning, and relearning September 2009
1 comment

why should GORDON be the next president March 2010
6 comments

first five months in law school August 2009
8 comments

ondoy October 2009
1 comment